I watched an episode of 'Crime-watch' and I’m telling you anyone could be involved in terrorist activity. Anyone. How would you know? I’m gonna keep me eyes and ears to the ground from now on. Maybe MI6 will sign me up. When me ex-wife Linda finds out I’m an undercover special agent, she’ll definitely want me back.

Rizwan got a booking today for a bride on her wedding day. Turns out it was Rizwan's first love (Reena) and he says they had one last fling minutes before she was married but I think he’s bullshitting.

Apparently, Mo the chief is feeling the heat over his immigration status. How anyone can work in this country for thirty years, run the best minicab firm in the city and not get a passport. That Tony Blair needs shooting. And Gordon Brown. And David Blunkett – he gets visas for breakfast with his eggs. What does Mo have to do. Go on a date with Peter Mandelson for free?