Ben has been approached to make some easy money by staging an accident and putting in a claim. I’d well do it.

Mo is tired of the filthy state of his cabs and arranged for an inspector to randomly select cabs to assess their cleanliness. Ben says no more people eating kebabs in the cab. Chilli sauce is the problem, but I just can’t stop.

Ben injured his back whilst helping a wheelchair-bound passenger. He’s launched on a campaign against all political correctness. He says he’s the smallest minority around. The only redneck at our base.

I enrolled with a new modelling agency for a modest casting fee of £500 and a portfolio fee of £800. I’ll just sit back and waits for the work to roll in.

On the night shift last night I was attacked by a huge cat-like beast whilst relieving myself in the park. So begins the hunt for the Beast of Burton Road. It has struck seven times this month. Usually goes for rabbits. It must have been hungry.

Took Doris to a Spiritualist Church and she told me there’s an angry spirit which is now haunting our cab. Let her have the ride for free. Cab keeps getting cold now and things keep disappearing. Told Ben but he says its all bollocks.

Our chief Mo is well angry after we wrecked the rest area playing that game of Kabbadi.

Ben was robbed last night and he’s settin up a security camera in our cab. I reckon we’ll get some extremely newsworthy footage of a local celebrity. Like that actor (alleged) from Corrie doin crack in the back of me cab. I could sell the footage to the press. ‘Ken Barlow smokes crack in Rizwan’s cab, again’. I can see the headlines now.

Played Kabbadi at the base. I won. Ben ran out of breath.

Got paid £500 just to wait outside a jewellers earlier on. Bloke made a big withdrawal. Big tip too!

Me mate Slippers dropped by trying to shift a batch of Coriander Cones. I bought the lot. Had ice cream for me tea.

Had an argument over which is best Lent or Ramadan – Me and Ben were on the changeover – we share the car see and he challenged me to a week long fast. He gave up after fifteen minutes, so Ramadan must be best.

Found a ventriloquist dummy in me cab today. I’m convinced it will lead to stardom. The world’s first Pakistani ventriloquist. I’ll be better than that Keith Harris, he was well shit.